There are few phrases that can stop a mother in her tracks like this one:
"I need to go to the toilet"
This short phrase immobilises like no other... Oh... apart from this one:
"I'M REALLY BUSTING!!!"
We were on a school holiday adventure to the city, we had engaged the kiddos in a big day out of city fun... and I (foolishly) thought I'd pop into MY SHOE STORE just for 'two seconds.'
Fluevog shoes are my absolute faves. I have a sizable collection of these delicious Canadian supershoes. There are only three stockists of John Fluevog shoes in Australia. Only one in Melbourne. We were walking past the front door... I HAD to go in. It was expected of me, indeed, it was my duty.
For years I have longed for a pair of Fluevog Guides. I have swooned over the chunky turquoise slingbacks, salivated over the (slightly more conservative) navy blue, coveted the seasonal paisleys and as for the Tomato Guides... *sigh*
So imagine my kid-in-a-candy-store excitement when I discovered the Tomatoes were ON SALE! and not in a $1 a kilo kind of way... these babies were almost $150 cheaper than the first time I tried them on. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS. CHEAPER.
And as we all know... when we're talking FURTHER REDUCTIONS a kind of mania sets in... I am trying them on, THEY HAD MY SIZE!! (a further miracle when it comes to heavily reduced amazing shoe bargains) In my mind I am flicking through the myriad of wardrobe options to match these chunky feet firetrucks. (Red is my favourite colour... so no dramas there.) I am thinking it can happen if Telstra can wait a couple of extra weeks while I rearrange the household budget in my head, these things are flexible right?? Just ask our federal treasurer... we all need to juggle the budget to make people (me) happy... (Amirite Joe??!?)
At this stage, all the boxes have been ticked:
- Favourite shoes? Tick.
- Favourite colour? Tick.
- On Sale? Tick.
- Perfect Fit? Tick.
- Want? Tick.
- Need? Most definitely.
- In the budget? Well.... We can work with that.
By now, my youngest has knocked shoes off the wall display, and is dancing a strange knock-kneed dance... I am DAZZLED by the glorious Tomato Guides on my feet and do not notice the increasing vigour of the dance. And then it happens..
"Muuuum... I need to go to the toilet..."
(Happy shoe bubble bursts)
"Can you wait darling?"
"NO I'M BUSTING!!!"
AAARFGHHHHhhhHhHh!!!!!! Those three words. Game changer.
Now I'm flinging off the glorious shoes, the window of opportunity is closing... rapidly. (That is... my window of shoe purchase opportunity... DAMN!) and then the OMG WHERE'S THE NEAREST PUBLIC TOILET?!? realisation strikes me. We are DEEP in the cobbled laneways of Melbourne City. It's a bit gritty, it's a bit grimey, it's not where you'll find a pristine throne for a fussy five year old in a hurry.
Sorry lovely shoe lady who almost had my money.
Farewell amazing Tomato Red Guide Fluevogs, I love you, I have ALWAYS loved you, AND AiiiIIIIIiiiiiii Will always LOVE YOOoooOOoOoOoOoooou
thank you Whitney.
We dodge cafe chairs, and duck-and-weave stern faced commuters, we leap over strange smelling puddles and dodge rubbish bins and swish away wasps. We will slow moving traffic (with my Desperate Mummy Laser Eyes) to MOVE OUTTA THE WAY so we can cross laneways, we beg cafes and stores... do you have a toilet we could use? PLEEEASE!?! (the dance is frenzied by now... She's hanging on... WE DIDN'T BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES!!)
And then a friendly cafe owner whisks us back to the staff loo and we're safe.
But those shoes.... those shoes.
Am I alone here? Has a kid's call of nature ever changed your plans? Ever been to the Aldi toilets...? (yes, Aldi has toilets... We've been there too... Why do they always need to go in the Supermarket??)
Any else share my Fluevog love? Oh John... you make the most amazing shoes. *sigh*
Till next time Melbourne. Love you.
-Kathy. x x